The art of realigning expectations
On a recent trip, I was reminded of how unchecked and unshared expectations can throw off alignment—whether in relationships, teams, or entire organizations. When our expectations stay silent, it can feel like riding a tricycle with different-sized wheels—or worse, no wheels at all.
In my case, a 48-hour pit stop in Paris led to an expectations clash. My husband and I had loosely mapped out our itinerary, but a steady downpour on our first day threw a wrench in those plans. When the rain finally let up, we rushed out to make the most of our remaining time. By the end of the day, though, we were both a little grumpy—at each other, at the weather, and (at least for me) at nature’s audacity to rain on my Parisian dreams.
That evening, as we unpacked our frustration, we realized we had each replaced our original, aligned expectations with new, unspoken ones. In our rush to salvage the trip, we hadn’t paused to reassess what was still feasible or how our individual priorities had shifted. Without realigning on expectations, we had unknowingly set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration.
The Expectation-Setting Challenge at Work
This small-scale misalignment mirrors what happens in many work environments. Organizations and teams exist in a steady state of change, where once-clear expectations can quickly become outdated. Even when we put in the effort to set expectations—such as defining annual goals—they rarely account for the inevitable week-by-week or even day-to-day shifts that arise.
So, how do we meet the need for more fluid expectation-setting in the face of constant change?
Embedding Expectation Checks into Culture and Systems
Navigating change requires both cultural norms and practical systems that encourage open, agile communication. Instead of assuming alignment, teams (and individuals) need built-in moments to reassess and reset expectations as the sand shifts beneath them.
On a systems level, this could mean embedding an “expectations check” into regular meetings to ensure alignment is an ongoing process, not a one-time agreement.
On a cultural level, it means fostering an environment where people feel safe pausing for honest conversations, addressing potential misalignment head-on, and expressing where things feel squishy and unclear.
For my tiny team at home, this meant taking a moment to recalibrate. The result? I got my leisurely café morning, my husband got his cobblestone stroll, and we both got back on the same page—proving that expectation-setting isn’t just a one-time event, but an ongoing practice.
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